I once read a poem about relationships and people… it talked about people come into your life for a Reason, a Season, and a Lifetime. The idea was that God would place someone in your life for one of these timeframes. The first was a Reason, a small amount of time, to get in and out and do what he needed. You may know them, you may not. The are there to do their thing and move on. A Season was someone who stayed for a little longer, maybe months, maybe years, a season of life. They and you contributed to each other, but eventually moved on. Lifetime is pretty self explanatory. I loved it.
In Alexandria we were given all three. She is the Reason we’re at St. Matthew. It’s hard to admit the failure I was in bringing my children and family to Christ. I didn’t know how. I didn’t have the instructions and teachings that so many do from early in life… and I didn’t look for it. I was angry when Aden was born, I was angry and how our church at the time didn’t support us. I no longer blame them, they didn’t know how… but it and other events cause me to walk away. I had often worried about Gabriel and Ethan’s relationship with God… but done nothing to nurture it. Alexandria changed all that. She brought me to my knees. It’s ironic, you’d have thought I’d be angry again, that I’d have just lost my mind towards God…. but I didn’t. I was wholeheartly drawn to St. Matthew without knowing why, to talk with Pastor Rob… I had to save my family. I had to get us help. I had to find a way home. I remember my initial phone call to Pastor Rob to setup a time to speak with him, I remember meeting him and pouring out everything we had gone through. Looking back now it was a lot to lay on him… but he handled it with grace. I attended the church alone that Sunday and pastor asked me to speak… As I walked to the podium I had no prepared speech… but in front of a sea of strangers the words just came. Aden, our challenges, and Alexandria. My baby girl. I never expected the reception I received that day, it still affects me to think about it.
Over the Season of the pregnancy Kimberly was welcomed and held by the women of the church. They prayed over her, they gave her comfort and support that could not be matched. After her birth our church family did everything they could to help us have time with Alex, it was and is truly amazing. My family could not have asked for better examples of Christ’s love and sacrifice then what we received from these people.
The Lifetime… she changed our lives. She changed my life. Not a day goes by I don’t think about her. She’ll always be here with me. She changed my focus on life.
She’ll be 4 tomorrow. 4. She’d be in dresses, having tea parties, and watching Frozen until I tore my hair out. Maybe that’s why I’ve never seen that movie… maybe subconsciously I know I can’t watch it with her… so I don’t watch it. I so wish she could have known her little brother Michael. I know they’d have had so much fun playing together. I love her so much. I miss her so much.